Yesterday, we asked the Livemocha community on Facebook to share memorable personal experiences with language – anything from an embarrassing language mishap to a breakthrough moment in speaking or understanding the language. We got some hilarious stories in response!
Although we’re all a little afraid we’ll say something foolish when we try to speak a new language, making mistakes is actually a VERY good thing. If you make mistakes, it means you’re actively trying to speak the language. Of course, that also means laughing at yourself is an important part of learning to speak a language. So, in the spirit of embracing awkward situations, check out these language fumbles!
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I’m learning Spanish and currently living in Spain. A few months ago, our boiler stopped working and I had to explain it to the landlord. The Spanish word for boiler is “Caldera”, but I told him “Mi cadera no funciona”, which means “My HIP doesn’t work”! He offered me a lift to the hospital, asking if I was in pain!
-Greg Armstrong
In Spanish, we only have 5 vowels, so, words like “ship, sheep, man, men” etc… sound the same for a monolingual beginner.
When I was starting to learn English, I used to speak with some American and Canadians through Ventrilo. One day I was at the beach, and I told them, “I am in the beach”. One of them wrote “Are you already there?” and I answered: “Yes, I came to the beach.”
They all started to laugh and I couldn’t understand why. It was a few months later when I realized what happened… I had been pronouncing it like “bitch” the whole time. Oh God, why.
Now that I think about it, I wanted to say: “I have already arrived to the beach, I’m in the hotel using my laptop” or something, but at the time my English was really bad…
-Freddy Guerra
In high school, when I studied abroad in Spain, we got to stay with a host family. One day when my roommate and I were having a discussion with our host mom and she asked what we eat for lunch at school. I usually ate peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for lunch. She understood the jelly part, but she was disgusted by what this peanut butter stuff was and it was very difficult to explain to her! She kept telling us that they don’t have that in Spain and she has never heard of such a thing.
Before my roommate and I left we had to get a gift for our host mom. I had already gotten her a gift, but I thought it would be fun to try and find her some peanut butter. We searched many grocery stores and we finally found a jar. When I presented it to her she laughed and then tasted it, she loved it! She said she will learn how to make peanut butter and jelly sandwiches for her family. It was definitely a culture shock for me trying to explain something so simple that everyone in the United States uses all the time.
-Lauren Elizabeth Weber
After one week of learning French in Cameroon, Africa, I tried my best to go to school alone. I told the taxi driver “amene-moi a hygiene mobil” – a popular place just near our school. The driver brought me somewhere completely different, and when I told him “pas ici” (which means “not here”), he pointed to a sign that said “hygiene mobil”. I couldn’t explain where to go, got lost and had to call someone to come and fetch me.
-Charlie Magne Gano Buyayo
I just had a breakthrough experience this afternoon, had my first ever Hungarian conversation on Livemocha chat, felt great!
My favourite language mishap though was while I was first learning Czech. I was living in a part of Prague 6 where there are two tram stops next to each other named “břevnovský klášter” (břevnov monastery) and “u kaštanu” (“at the chestnut tree”; name of a street).
Once I was in a café in Brno with a Czech girl and an English friend of mine from home and I was translating the menu for her. One of the items was “palačinky s pečenými kaštany”, which I looked at dumbfounded and translated as “pancakes with roast monastery” (rather than roast chestnuts).
-Zeibura S. Kathau
I was born in Romania to a Hungarian father and a Hungarian mother, but worked many years in Germany, married to an Irishman, residing in Spain. Therefore, I speak a few languages -
Romanian, Hungarian, German, English, and Spanish.
I was sent to Taipei for the first time about fifteen years ago on a year-long assignment (working in Animation).
After a few weeks I started to get tired of eating out in restaurants and decided to check out the nearest supermarket in order to buy some beef. I wanted to make a stew, at home, in my nice rented apartment.
At the time not many people spoke English, though now the situation is much better. As you probably know, you find meat of a lot of strange animals on the shelves in Asia. So I wasn’t entirely sure if the packet that I had picked up was actually beef or not. The labels were all in Chinese characters, which was ALL Chinese to me.
At the checkout counter, I tried to ask the lady if the meat is actually beef, using my best body language. The best idea I had was to pretend I have two horns on my head with two index fingers indicating them, questioning eyes in addition. The lady looked puzzled. but I really wanted to purchase beef. So in a last desperate attempt, not only did I use my index fingers to create horns on my head, I also made the sound of cattle (moooooo?). Checkout girl looked even more puzzled than before.
The queue behind me, in the meantime, got longer. Lots of impatient shoppers. And I walked away with tail between my legs and without the packet of meat I was longing for, as I had no way of finding out what type of meat it was.
This incident forced me to learn Mandarin Chinese. I never ever wanted to be that embarrassed. As it turned out, with a small effort by buying a few good books, being relocated year after year in mainland China, and later joining the Livemocha programme, I can now manage to survive in Mandarin
The first words I learned were “cow” and “beef”.
-Andrea Preda
When i was sent to Congo, Africa as a missionary, I studied their language, “lingala”. “Mabéle” means the breasts of a woman and “mabelé” means soil. I assigned our youth in the parish to fill a flower pot with soil. The following day I asked them, “lakisa ngai mabéle ozwaki” – show me the soil you got. And they burst into laughter! Instead of “mabelé” i said “mabéle”. They thought that I wanted to see their breasts!
-Charlie Magne Gano Buyayo
My daughter generally speaks very good Hebrew, but the other morning for breakfast she asked for ‘avanim (stones) instead of ‘anavim (grapes).
-Matthew Levie
A couple of years ago I first went to Paris with friends. None of us spoke French, so it was difficult to find our way around. We used the subway map to try to reach a particular destination, but on reaching the first station the only sign we saw was “sortie”. Seeing the sign, we hurried off the subway train to try and find the station “sortie” on our subway map. Of course, we never found it because “sortie” means “exit”.
-Ari Mad-name
I am a Brazilian living in Germany and was about to have my second child here. My husband and I had to have an interview with the surgeon at the maternity we chose. I don´t speak very good German and neither does my husband. So, we were discussing whether to have another Cesarian section, which is “Kaiserschnitt” in German. My husband said: “Wir möchten ein Kaiserschnitzel”, which means: – We would like to have a Caesar’s beef. The doctor promptly replied, “We can get this for you later. Our kitchen is closed right now.”
-Arlete Helena Gomes Soffiatti
I met my boyfriend on Livemocha a year and a half ago. He was learning English, I was learning Italian. Our first conversations over Livemocha chat when we first met were pretty entertaining. His English was (and still is) much better than my Italian. One day, when I was visiting him in Italy last year, he hurt his finger. I meant to say to him “do you need a bandaid?” (“hai bisogno un cerotto?”), but instead I said, “hai bisogno un centotto?”…”do you need a 108?” He laughed so hard, he completely forgot about his finger.
That’s my story, but my favorite “foreign language story” happened to my grandfather in the early 1930′s. He was a young man then, still in school, and living with his parents in a mostly Hungarian neighborhood. He didn’t know any Hungarian at all, but knew that some old men would sit and talk about him as he would walk by. He decided to teach them a lesson, so he asked a friend to teach him the phrase “you’d better watch what you say” in Hungarian. The next time he passed by and heard the men talking, he stopped, pointed his finger at them and said the phrase flawlessly. He said they looked at him with their jaws dropped and never did it again!
-Amy Linder
I’m from Cairo, Egypt. I used to study hard in high school, but always got low marks. Especially in French. I spent hours and hours every day studying it but achieved no progress at all. This was quite disappointing to me, and hurt my self-confidence. My parents stood beside me the whole time, encouraging me to keep going no matter what, and kept telling me that I could get a high mark if I just believed in myself.
Then in the 2nd year of high school I finally got a high mark in French. I got 19/20. It was surprising to me but I was so happy! Little did I know…
Two years later:
One day, my family and I were talking about how hard I studied in high school, and I noticed that my parents were looking at each other in a weird way. I asked them what was wrong.
My mom told me: I cheated your mark in French when you were in 2nd year in high school!!
I was totally surprised, and I couldn’t believe it until she swore it was true. And even more, my dad helped her to do it!!
I was like, WHAT?!! NO WAY!! I asked them: why did you do that?
After laughing for a while, my mom told me that it was her idea, and she did it because I had suffered low self-confidence and she was afraid that if I knew that I got low mark in French after spending all that time studying, I would feel depressed and sad – so she cheated it! My mouth was wide open. Then my dad said, this actually worked for you, because the year after that you got the full mark in French on your own just because you believed in yourself!
-Toka Elwetedy
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